This is the kind of sandwich you have to eat alone.

This is a finger-licking sandwich, a vow-to-never-buy-mayo-again sandwich, a stacked-too-high-for-human-mouths sandwich that requires some privacy in which to devour it. Luckily, I’m swimming in privacy these days.

Ingredients proceed thusly: thick, sturdy bread, toasted. (I made this loaf from a Bittman recipe for simple Italian bread. Very dense crumb, so perfect for piling high with toppings). Generous slather of homemade aioli. I learned this really cool trick from Serious Eats, in which you dump all ingredients for aioli into a cup, add a stick blender, push the on button, and 30 seconds later: aioli! It was miraculous. I used 1 garlic clove grated on a microplane, 1 T. water, 1 dollop of dijon mustard, the juice of 1/2 a lemon, a pinch of salt, 1 egg yolk, and 1 cup of vegetable oil. BOOM. I mean, this is beyond ridiculously tasty. I don’t even LIKE mayonnaise. You can of course do this by hand with a whisk. There are many great tutorials out there but if you have a stick blender, praise Zeus, use it. Crispy lettuce. Thick slice of tomato (or if you’re feeling frisky, avocado). Sliced hard boiled egg. Chopped capers and pickles (I was gifted some lovely pickled ramps and fiddlehead ferns, which I used here with great delight). Black pepper. Sprinkle of salt. Squeeze of lemon. 

Proceed with caution, because trust me, this will get everywhere, but it will be so, so worth it.