When I left my job three months ago, I felt like I had all the time in the world, because I sort of did. I went to yoga in the middle of the day, walked around outside, and fit work in around my other pursuits. But the euphoria of freedom quickly gave way to the reality that, to sustain this lifestyle, I had to actually make money. (duh)

Any time I read the advice to “follow your dreams” I roll my eyes a little bit. Not because I don’t believe it’s a great, wonderful, admirable idea. But because your dream job doesn’t necessarily add up to a living wage. Ask any working actor (the occupation my college degree would suggest I have) — you’re probably doing as much catering, bartending, and temping as acting, if not significantly more. And paid acting jobs might just be commercials for crappy products. But you do it so you can land that sweet part in a play downtown, bond with the actors and crew, add another line to your resume. It’s all part of the game. For me, in this more food-focused iteration of my life, I’m trying to find the right balance between doing what I know I do well and can earn a living doing (consulting) and what I love to do the most (cooking).

And to top it all off, I’ve got this blog here. There is something about having a blog that feels akin to having close friends who live far away. Bear with me. When you’re in close contact, regularly, it’s amazing and fun. Of course you talk every day! You love each other! But when busy schedules or missed connections create a small lapse — out of sight, out of mind — it’s easy to just let go of the commitment. And then once you’ve let go, the guilt that you are neglecting something critically important overshadows your desire to reconnect. Returning seems shameful, embarrassing, sad.

I don’t mean to overstate the relationship I have with this blog, but it is, in a weird way, an old friend that I neglect far too often.

Here’s hoping I can get back into the groove. I always find fall to have much more of a “new year” feeling that January — just that residual first-day-of-school reset I guess — so my resolution this fall is to focus on balance, and not lose sight of why I made the changes I’ve made in the past few months.